September 11th 2010 - The Sweetest Rose

I realize more and more that the Universe is always trying to teach us big lessons about life through the little things. Most of them go over our heads, because we are not looking for them. Sometimes, if you stop to think about why you are doing some little thing, you find the big lesson there.

So I was just walking outside the hotel at a seminar I am attending, and I decided to stop and smell the roses. I stopped to smell a few of them, and they smelled quite nice. There was one rose (the one pictured) that caught my eye, although it was facing away from the sidewalk, and was awkward to get to. Something was pulling me strongly to smell that particular rose. I had to be very careful. I had to step off the sidewalk and onto the soil. I had to avoid several smaller thorny plants around it. I had to be very careful touching it, because the branches holding it were covered heavily with very large thorns that were spaced very closely. When I inhaled the aroma of that rose, I was floored. It may have been the sweetest rose I ever smelled. The roses that I was able to easily sniff from the sidewalk did not compare.

The lesson I took from this is that sometimes the sweetest things in life are not as easy to access. Sometimes you have to get off the beaten path, be a little more careful, or put a little extra effort in to find the sweetest rewards in life. But, it wasn't that much more effort. It was a few extra steps, and a little more care. But, perhaps more importantly, you have to trust your intuition. It was my intuition that made me make the extra effort, take the extra care and get into the dirt. If I didn't listen to my intuition, I never would have had that beautiful experience. It was so beautiful that I took the time to write this, even though I am on a tight schedule on my lunch break at a seminar.

Smiling Sweetly,

Alan

August 23rd 2010 - Under The Guise of Green

I found the piece of paper in the photo as a piece of litter in the street. If you can't read it clearly, it says "I'M IN THE MARKET FOR A MORE SUSTAINABLE TOMORROW." The irony of finding a piece of paper like this in the street brought me to the realization that a sustainable American society is still far from reality. It's really just lip service at this point. Not too many people are really serious about it.

Corporate America is rushing to push out products that Americans perceive as green, whether or not they really are. Hybrid cars are a great example. I just quickly Googled for statistics on the carbon emissions of hybrid cars, and I found this: http://www.fueleconomy.gov/feg/hybrid_sbs_cars.shtml Granted these statistics are for 2007 models, so maybe we're doing a bit better now, but the vehicles studied had average annual greenhouse gas emissions of anywhere from 3.4 TONS (Toyota Prius) to 8 TONS (Lexus GS 450h). Yes. You read it right. That's annual TONS for one, single vehicle. And those are the HYBRIDS!

What I really want to say is that only Nature is really green. Only when we truly understand that we must cooperate with Nature, rather than just extract everything we can take from Nature, make a packaged and/or disposable product out of it, and then throw the package or used product into a dump, will we achieve sustainability.

The meaning of sustainability has not even entered into most peoples' awareness, yet. Unsustainable means it can't be sustained without causing damage and/or death. Unsustainable means that if you continue to do things the same way, you are eventually going to have to take some measures to reverse the damage (measures which will probably be more expensive than if we just would have done it right in the first place), or, worse, you may reach a point of irreversible damage. Some scientists believe that we've already done irreversible damage to many ecosystems. That was BEFORE the Gulf spill.

Taking our own bags to the grocery store is a nice start, but it's a drop in the bucket, frankly. What are we filling those reusable bags with? What are we buying? Why are we buying it? What will the impact be? How many people are really even bringing reusable bags, anyway?

I know that many companies are making efforts to reduce packaging, using more energy-efficient manufacturing processes, etc. I don't know that they are the majority. The best we can do now is consume less, and be smart about what we consume. I'm not sure it will make much of a difference. Not unless just about everybody starts acting that way. It sure won't help the economy, but maybe what we really need is a new economy that runs in concert with Nature. Sounds a little touchy-feely? A bit tree-hugging liberal? May sound that way, but I'm fairly certain it's the only way to sustain life in the long-term.

Naturally Yours,

Alan

August 6th 2010 - The Newborn

I really don't know why I am writing about this. The idea came to me a a week or two ago. I'm just feeling to share it, so I won't doubt that the message should go out. Sometimes when I send something out, someone says that the timing was pefect for them to receive the message. So, here it goes.

A lot of times we judge a newborn child based upon how we perceive its parents. Instead of seeing the child as its own independent entity, we imagine that it will grow up and be just like its parents. We imagine that it will make the same choices and mistakes. Many children transcend the parents, though. There are many stories of children of very common parents who became great leaders, scientists, entertainers, etc. There must also be multitudes of cases of not-so-famous people who managed to be something totally different than their parents.

A newborn child is pure potentiality. When we view the newborn as a perfect being, with unlimited potential, no matter how its parents seem, we can see a more truthful reality. Just as we should not judge a person by the way he or she appears, we should not judge a child, who has hardly even lived, by the nature of its parents. The child is its own individual, who will eventually make its own choices, and could have the seeds of greatness within, despite unremarkable parents.

Actually, I believe that every child has the seeds of greatness within. I think its mostly a matter of whether the child figures it out, often by someone else bringing it to the child's attention. Obviously, it's more recognizable in some than others. Things aren't always what they seem, though. Greatness, of course, is subject to personal interpretation. Perhaps we are each serving a greater function on Earth than any of us knows, even the most common of us.

Have A Great Weekend!

Alan

P.S. One of the most important truths that I have ever learned is that "Things aren't always what they seem." Most of the time, you can't see the truth with your eyes. Sometimes the miracles around you have to penetrate you at a deeper level than the senses.

July 12th 2010 - Breaking Out Of Our Rhythms

Have you ever seen the movie, "Groundhog Day?" In the movie, Bill Murray played a TV news reporter covering the annual Groundhog Day ceremony in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. He becomes stuck in time, living the same day over and over again. I wasn't struck by the relevance until one of my teachers, years later, mentioned the movie. Then I realized that most of our lives are like that. We wake up, eat breakfast, brush our teeth, take a shower, drive to work, work our day, eat lunch around the middle of the day, drive home, eat dinner, watch TV and go to sleep. The next day, we do the same. Of course, we have weekends, and we all do have some additional things that we do, but often they are the same repetitive rituals. We create a habitual rhythm that is very hard to break. For some people, even doing something out of order can be uncomfortable. For example, if we forget to brush our teeth before we get in the shower, we feel strange when we get out of the shower and have to brush our teeth, in what we perceive as the "wrong" sequence. Our rhythm has been disturbed, and that is uncomfortable to us. We become - dare I say - robots.

Many people never break their rhythms. Maybe, as they age, they watch different shows, eat a few different foods and buy different things, but they still stay stuck in that perpetual robotic rhythm. It isn't until something catastrophic happens - like 9/11 or the Gulf Oil Spill - that they begin to get stirred enough to even consider changing their routines. They're always thinking that someone else is handling everything. In something as important as a Presidential election, barely more than half of eligible voters make it to the polls. In 2008 it was a little more than 57%. In mid-term election years, when people are voting for their Senators, Representatives and many other important matters, a little more than a third usually show up at the polls. In 2006, it was just over 37%. A lot of people are sure speaking their minds about the progress - or lack thereof - that these politicians are making, but many of them didn't even vote.

If you want to make a difference in the world, you have to break out of your rhythm. You have to stop being robotic. Try changing things up a bit. Maybe go to a park, instead of the mall this weekend. Stop at a bookstore on the way home from work, and buy a book that you've been thinking about reading, but just haven't found time for. Just read one page at a time. My life has been changed - dramatically - just from stuff I read in books. Some books it took me months to finish, because I was so busy.

When we stay in our robotic rhythms, life passes by, and at the end of it, we may realize that we didn't make as much of a difference as we would have liked. We forgot to try the Road Less Traveled, once in awhile. We played it too safe. And the world around us suffers from our lack of participation.

Wouldn't now be a good time to wake up from our sleepwalking?

Just Checking,
Alan

P.S. As always, this blog entry is directed at yours truly, too. It's been almost a month since I last wrote a blog entry. Those of you on Facebook get to read my somewhat frequent status updates and comments, but I'd like to do more. I'd like to make more of a difference. I had to put down my iPhone and stop playing the game I was in the middle of, before it got too late to write, again. I'm not judging. I'm talking from experience.

June 13th 2010 - Rooting For All Of Them

A few days ago, a friend of mine informed me that his son’s baseball team had won a crucial game, advancing the team to a final game that would decide who would be first place in their division. I was very excited for them, and thought about rooting for his son’s team. That got me into a philosophical debate within my mind about winning and losing, and the implications of winning and losing on a child.

After some thought, I decided to root for each individual kid. I realized that it didn’t matter who won or lost the game. The real winning and losing comes after the game is over. I realized that winners could lose, and losers could win, depending on how each reacted to the winning or losing. What would the win mean to the winner and the loss mean to the loser? What would each do with the win or the loss? How would it affect their attitudes about themselves and each other? How would they treat each other after the game? I just hope that each child will make the best of the experience, whether his team wins or loses the game. I’m rooting for all of them.

Sincerely,
Alan

May 24th 2010 - Trial and Error

A lot of life is trial and error. Like the child learning to ride a bike and falling, in the course of learning our life lessons, we make a lot of mistakes. We form relationships with people that hurt us. We get employed in dead-end jobs. We pick the worst item off the menu in a great restaurant, and suffer through our meal as everyone else at the table is moaning in delight.

Most children that fall from their bikes cry for a minute or two, and then get back on. Next time, they try to do something a little differently, like pedaling a little faster, slightly shifting their balance or maybe reverting back to the training wheels for a bit. With a few spills under their belts and a bit of tinkering, eventually they are riding like champs. I've never heard of a child who got on a bike without training wheels and was able to stay on the first time. I've, also, never seen an adult riding with training wheels, so I guess we mostly have the resolve to get through that trial.

The thing is, as adults, we start to expect that we should be making all the right choices instantly and performing every new task without error. We not only expect this of ourselves, but we expect it of others. When we fail, we tend to beat up on ourselves and each other. We become embarrased, and often cover up our mistakes, so no one else will see our vulnerability. Part of the reason we do that is because we are afraid of others' reactions. It's OK for friends and acquaintances to laugh at each other in good fun, but we have to be careful of not going too far. Insecure people make others feel badly about their mistakes, in order to temporarily relieve their insecure feelings about themselves. This can be damaging to both parties. It can create insecurity in the target and creates unrealistic self-expectations in the critic, that will feed that person's insecurity the next time he or she fails at something. And he or she will fail at something. Do you really think that anyone exists that does not make mistakes?

It is said that Thomas Edison tried about 1000 different materials for the filament in the light bulb before he found one that worked. Sounds a lot like the kid falling off the bike, doesn't it? Not only do I think it is OK to make mistakes, I think that we are SUPPOSED to make mistakes. The trial and error process is a vital part of life. It makes life interesting. It keeps us in suspense.

I think it's healthier to laugh at our own mistakes, than to brood over them. Some people even enjoy the process of making mistakes, because they know that every mistake gets them closer to success. Life has its ups and downs. In my opinion, the most successful person is the one who can smile through a down cycle. It's one of the hardest skills to attain, not because it is any harder than learning to ride a bike, but because there are very few role models and because, for some odd reason, people don't consider it as crucial as learning to ride a bike.

Keep Smiling,
Alan

April 28th 2010 - Wondering

I'm wondering about wondering today. How much wondering is healthy? How much of our wondering do we spend on needless curiosity? How much of our wondering is fear-based? Where is our wondering taking us?

Wondering is healthy in many respects. It runs in concert with imagination. I think that it carries within it the seed of growth. Where in this world of infinite possibilities should I go next? Where will Life take me, and where will I take Life?

The problem with many of us is that we never get past the wondering stage. We think that our imagination is just a side show. We are constantly wondering, without letting that wonderment fill our sails and carry us to our next destination.

A lot of us waste a lot of our wondering time, wondering about what will go wrong next. Things will always go wrong. That's what makes Life interesting. If everything always went our way, we would be completely bored. We learn from our mistakes. If we play it too safe, and try to shield ourselves from making mistakes, the zest of Life will be completely absent from us. We'll go to work, watch our TV, go out for dinner, and that is Life for us. Life holds a billion more surprises than the most wild imagination could ponder. Life is limitless, boundless, filled with mystery and endless opportunities. If you give a bit more of your time to nature, the magic will find you.

When you catch yourself wondering what could go wrong next, see if you can shift that into a creative flow. What could go right next? What could Life hold in store for me? What magical opportunity could come out of nowhere and shift my Life completely? What can I do to make things better, or at least to feel better?

And, please, do yourself the favor of following your imagination sometimes, instead of staying stuck in wondering mode. What if this happens? What if that happens? If you keep wondering, nothing will improve. Your imagination is feeding you with possible journeys to take down the infinite paths of Life. If I hadn't decided to start writing this blog, you wouldn't be reading it right now. I had to get past wondering who would like it, and just put it out there.

I was on the beach, not even an hour ago. I had just finished a jog and was doing some stretching. A huge pelican came flying straight at me. I love pelicans. I love the grace of their flight, and their wide-reaching wingspan. As it flew right by me, I realized how free that pelican is. Never wondering where its next meal will come from, or whether it will get home in time for a television show. It knows it will find a meal if it flies long enough, as the ocean is filled with ample food. It knows that the world will provide. And, if not, it will just follow the endless cycle of Life into the next stage.

Wondering Aloud,
Alan

P.S. That pelican has no idea about the economy. It is completely unaffected by it. Now that is freedom.

April 17th 2010 - The Shift

I never thought that I'd review a movie in my blog, but I just got finished watching "The Shift" by Dr. Wayne Dyer and it was amazing! It was recommended to me by a friend, and encapsulates a lot of my own thinking, and a lot of what I say in my blog.

The shift that Dr. Dyer refers to in the title, is the shift from living a life controlled by our Ego personalities, to living a life connected with our authentic selves. In the movie, Dr. Dyer beautifully weaves together the teachings of many different spiritual philosophies. He repeatedly quotes Lao Tzu's "Tao Te Ching," which I "coincidentally" just reread on my recent trip to Colombia. I really like the Stephen Mitchell translation of the "Tao Te Ching," if you are interested in reading it.

I do not want to ruin the movie for you, so I am not going to go into a lot of detail about it. It is available from Netflix. Here is a link to a YouTube trailer.

It is not a fast-paced, action-packed, Hollywood-type movie, so please don't expect one. It is a thinking person's movie that may move you to review your life priorities. It's a movie with a purpose beyond pure entertainment. I give it ten thumbs up. Please give it a watch and let me know what you think.

Continually Shifting,
Alan

P.S. Love this poem Dr. Dyer quotes in the movie from the Sufi poet Haifiz:

Even
After
All this time
The sun never says to the earth,

"You owe
Me."

Look
What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the
Whole
Sky.

April 15th 2010 - Releasing Blame - Part 3

When we begin to take responsibility for our vulnerabilities and weaknesses, we can begin the lifetime job of rooting them out of our operating systems. Just like the anti-virus software maker, we need to constantly observe the weaknesses in our operating software, and fine-tune our software to deal with them. One of the most important steps to take, in my humble opinion, is to stop feeding our negative emotions.

We feed our negative emotions by constantly reacting the same way. We feed anger every time we get angry. We feed frustration every time we get frustrated. We feed sadness every time we get sad. These emotions are like individuals. It's like they have a life of their own. They feed on their own specialized meals of our habitual reactions.

We can gain control of our emotions by becoming an observer. Instead of reacting the way we always react, when an emotion comes along, we can look at it from the standpoint of an observer. "Here comes Person X again. He always makes me angry. There he goes acting that way again." When this happens, we can observe what is happening inside of us, and we can see our emotion start welling up inside of us in a detached manner. We don't have to act out that emotion, as we realize that that emotion is not who we are. We have the power to release any emotion that we do not want. We just observe it, and let it go.

This is not easy stuff. I have not yet mastered releasing all my negative emotions. Some issues are harder than others. When someone victimizes you, it is very difficult to accept that you are the cause of the victimization, or at least a co-conspirator. If you can observe the victimization without getting emotional about it - without getting angry, frustrated and blaming - are you really a victim, though?

Taking Responsibility,
Alan

April 14th 2010 - Releasing Blame - Part 2

In order to clarify my last post, I want to use the analogy of an operating system. There are hackers all over the world that make a hobby of trying to infect our computers' operating systems with malicious software. In order to do so, they exploit weaknesses or vulnerabilities in our operating systems. In order to protect ourselves, we buy anti-virus software, which is constantly updated to protect against the newest threats. This software monitors any process happening in our operating system, at any time, for suspicious behavior. Running an operating system without anti-virus software these days is considered irresponsible and foolhardy. Hackers are working 24/7 to find new vulnerabilities to exploit, and constantly looking for operating systems with their guards down. It seems there is always some new weakness to exploit. Anti-virus software makers must be vigilant on our behalves - constantly watching for the newest vulnerabilities and threats - to help us protect our operating systems. If there are no vulnerabilities to exploit, the hackers are harmless to us.

Our minds are like the operating system. In our minds, we have all these memories, emotions, habits and automatic responses stored. A lot of this software is vulnerable to being exploited by certain people who know how to push our buttons. Some of these buttons are right on the surface, and easy for anybody to find. But some of them are buried deep in the subconscious, and are not found until the more evident ones are uncovered. If we walk around with these buttons exposed long enough, someone is going to push one. It's just a matter of time. It's the nature of life.

How do we protect against our buttons being pushed? What anti-virus software can we use to protect us from our own vulnerabilities? The first step, again, is to take responsibility for our vulnerabilities. We need to understand that our weaknesses are our own, and it is only because of our weaknesses that anyone can hurt us. If we did not have vulnerable programming within us, no matter what anybody would say or do to us, we would not need to react with anger, frustration and blame. We could keep our operating systems running smoothly, despite the probing of others for our vulnerabilities. Remember, if there are no vulnerabilities, these probes are harmless.

Taking full responsibility for our vulnerabilities is crucial to securing our operating systems. Taking responsibility doesn't mean we have to do it alone. We can employ the help of those who have been successful in securing their own operating systems, and often that is the more responsible route to take.

Let's continue this discussion tomorrow.

Taking Responsibility,
Alan

April 13th 2010 - Releasing Blame - Part 1

One of the biggest illusory obstacles to happiness is our perception that other people are keeping us from it. This person did this to me. That person always treats me that way. I can't stand it when Person X does ______. How do we get above blaming others, and all the attendant anger and frustration? We need to take responsibility for our emotions and for the people that we are drawing into our lives. You may find it hard to believe, but there is a lot of theory out there that says that we are doing EVERYTHING in our own lives. As I have observed my own life, I find this to be true.

Nobody can do anything to hurt us, unless there is something inside of us that is calling for that hurt. So, if someone is called into our lives to do act out a particular script, it is because we have called them into our lives to act out that script. There is something inside of us that magnetizes that person to us. It can be some fear or emotion or subconscious desire.

Did you ever notice all of the cyclical things that seem to happen to people? This person is always getting robbed. That person is always attracting abusive relationships. Do you think maybe there is something behind that? Is it possible that that person is a magnet for that type of behavior because his or her fears or emotions are constantly inviting that cycle of energy into his or her life?

If we can begin to take responsibility for what happens to us in our lives, and realize that it is something within us that is inviting any negativity that "happens" to us, we can start to remove the causes within us that are inviting the negative effects. We can become the "cause" of our own happiness, instead of the "effect" of what anybody else is doing to us.

To be continued...

Taking Responsibility,
Alan

April 12th 2010 - Make Happiness Your First Priority

Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence. - Aristotle

What does it take to be happy? Nothing more than the desire and intent. Why does it seem so hard to maintain happiness? Because we believe there are other requirements. When we believe that there are obstacles between us and happiness, we make it so. We think we need money to be happy. We think we need a certain person in our life to be happy. We think we need a certain brand of car to make us happy. All hogwash. It is those imagined obstacles to happiness that are keeping us from it. All it takes to increase our level of happiness is practice, just like anything else. We need to build our happiness muscles.

If we make happiness our primary goal, and release our false perception that we need any "thing" prior to being happy, then we can build a foundation of happiness that can never be taken from us. Happiness is not a "thing," so why should we need any "thing" prior to having it? When our foundation of happiness is strong, we can build anything we want on top of it.

Happiness and wealth, for example, are two different destinations. I strongly believe that people who pursue wealth before happiness are taking themselves for a ride. I highly recommend making happiness the first destination. When you build a foundation of happiness, everything else you need, including money, will come easier, because you will be going with the flow of life, instead of struggling against it. Happiness will make balanced effort, but happiness won't accept struggling, being worn out or miserable for very long. If you make wealth the first destination, you may not find happiness there when you arrive (if you ever do), or the happiness that comes with wealth may be short-lived. You also may inadvertently trade away your happiness in your struggle to stay wealthy.

I have nothing against wealth, but my point is that wealth without happiness is worthless. Better to learn how to be happy first. You may find that your values about wealth and what to do with your money will be reshaped, as your base level of happiness rises.

Make happiness first. It's smooth sailing from there.

All Smiles,
Alan :)

P.S. I'm still working on my foundation of happiness, but I understand now that the reason it needs work is because I set too many other priorities before it. I feel it is important for me to let the reader understand that I am not perfect, but that does not mean that I am not qualified to speak on the subject. People often reach a point of clarity, before they reach the goal that's been clarified. Yes, we have to make a living, but we also have to make a life. Make yours a happy one. :)

April 11th 2010 - Unlimit Yourself

I don't believe that limitation is real. I believe we are all unlimited beings. I believe that we only experience limitation, because we believe we are limited. I still experience limitation, but I think it is only because I still have work to do with regard to my beliefs and my certainty in them.

I think that there is good evidence that we are unlimited. Look at all of the technology we've invented, for example. How did we create computers that can process billions of instructions in a second? Someone had to first believe that they could do it, and then was certain enough in that belief to see it through to completion. You know that our bodies are doing trillions of things per second, all in near-perfect coordination?

One day I was driving home from work, and I was asking myself a question about whether my thinking about some subject was too limited or not. At the moment the question ran through my mind, I came around a turn and right in front of me was a big billboard with an ad for metroPCS that said "Unlimit Yourself." It was the first time I had ever seen the billboard or heard of that ad campaign. The timing was absolutely perfect. Too perfect to be just coincidence. Just something to consider.

Yours Without Limitation,
Alan

April 10th 2010 - The Value of Now

What does Yesterday have to do with Now? The residue of what happened Yesterday and the results of the choices we made Yesterday shape Today, but place mostly illusory limitations on the direction we can choose Today. The direction we choose Tomorrow will be shaped by Today, but, again, will place very little limitation on our options Tomorrow. Our options always seem very limited, but they are always infinite. Every moment is a rebirth. Every moment offers an opportunity to choose to remain the same or to change anything or everything. EVERY MOMENT. Each moment stands on it's own.

I know it is easier to perceive this than to act upon it. For me, too.

Sweet Dreams (Day & Night),
Alan

April 9th 2010 - The Clam

I'm absolutely flabbergasted that it's been over 2 months since my last post. The season in my family business was extremely busy due to the chilly and rainy weather. People came shopping. Enough with the excuses, though. On to my post.

I have not been able to get the idea of the clam in the shell out of my head for the past few days. I am not an expert on clam biology, but it seems that the clam is almost completely concealed from the light. Only a little light can penetrate the membrane that drapes between the two shell halves that house the clam. One of the biggest problems with humanity is that so many of us are like the clam. We are completely close-minded, and we won't open our shells wide enough to let in the advice or ideas of others. We stay inside our ego shells, believing that our ideas are superior, and discounting the intelligence and worthiness of others. If we are so close-minded that we never allow others' ideas to penetrate us, we are probably missing out on some good guidance.

One of my past teachers would always say that God doesn't talk to people from bushes and clouds these days. He said that God talks to people through their thoughts and intuitions, and also through the mouths of other people. From my experience, I believe this to be true. When I became more open-minded, I realized that even the simplest person will sometimes have some words of wisdom. Sometimes the greatest ideas come from the least-expected sources. Sometimes some random person I meet in some random place will say exactly what I need to hear. You have to be open-minded, alert and a patient listener to pick up on what the Universe is trying to deliver to you, in my humble opinion. Most of us, including myself, could use a little work on at least a couple of those skills.

Of course, some of us are TOO open to others' advice. Many people are easily swayed by anybody else's opinion. This can be just as much a problem, because it is symptomatic of a lack of self-trust. I, personally, err more this way.

How do you know whether to be open to the advice and ideas of others? It takes discernment, but your natural inclination is a good hint. If you tend to very quickly discount the ideas of others, you are probably losing some helpful advice. If you tend to be instantly swayed by anything another says, you probably need to practice a little more self-reliance. There's always a balance to be found. These days, though, I notice a lot of clams out there.

Sincerely,
Alan

January 25th 2010 - Lucy

I have so many things I want to write about, but I've got to tell this story first. On Saturday, I noticed the name "Lucy" at least a couple of times. I know that when something out of the ordinary strikes me twice or more in the same day, there is probably something more to it. I was thinking to myself, "Lucy? Is this something about "I Love Lucy," the old show, or is this just another one of those coincidental "echoes" I've see so many times before?"

On Sunday, I was at the cash register in our store, ringing out a lady's purchases. As she was paying, I noticed a large picture of a pretty, young lady in her wallet. She saw me glance at the picture and she said, "That's my daughter. She died recently." I was taken aback and didn't know what to say. I just said that she was very pretty. The woman told me that the daughter had been a model. She was 33 when she died of breast cancer. The woman then proceeded to tell me that she now tells people not to rush through Life. She recommends that we take Life slowly and enjoy it. It'll be over before we know it.

Before the woman left, she told me that if she liked one of the products that she was buying to try out, she would be back for more. She asked my name, and I told her. After she had already started walking away, something prodded me to call after her for her name. "Excuse me. What's your name?" I asked. "Lucy," she called back loudly, as she was already some distance away. I can't even explain the feeling that coursed through me as she said it. I felt that she looked at me with a knowing glance. Could have been my imagination. My whole body was tingling, at any rate.

It has come more to my attention recently that one of my traits has always been to rush through Life. I have always been a very fast eater, for example. There is a favorite story in my family about the time we stopped at a highway rest stop to eat, in my childhood, and I completely devoured a gargantuan breakfast before the waitress came back to the table with everybody else's meals. My grandparents constantly reminded me that no one was going to steal my food. When I was around 30 years-old, one of my bosses noted that I was always scurrying everywhere. I never forgot that comment for some reason. I've also been known to often be running late to events, and therefore in a rush to make up for lost time. Always in a rush.

I've recently been intrigued with how little time we actually have. I calculated that someone who lives to the age of 75 lives only 3900 weeks. That's only 3900 weekends. How quickly do the weeks roll by? It's Saturday again. It's Saturday again. After only 3900 times, your 75 years old!!! Lucy was right. Time is fleeting.

Sometimes Life brings us emergencies, and we have no choice but to act quickly. I remember in the Haiti Telethon a story about a woman who dug for 50 hours straight to try and get her baby out from under some rubble, before a rescue team spotted her and pulled her baby out alive. If she had given up at any time and walked away, the rescue team may not have even noticed the baby.

But Life isn't always an emergency. Many of us live Life as if every day is an emergency. We find so many reasons to rush, because we are afraid that if we relax, maybe we will miss out, we will make less money, we will lose our position in the rat race or whatever. At what cost, though? How many of us live in almost a constant state of anxiety? Is there any amount of money that is worth living in a constant state of suffering? A lot of people sacrifice several years of their lives for some expected windfall in the 2nd or 3rd or 4th or .... year. Sometimes the payoff never comes. The best laid plans of mice and men...

It's very hard to enjoy Life if you can't relax. There are times when we are going to feel a need to get things done quickly, and some emergencies will come. When the emergencies pass, can we get out of our Fight or Flight Mode long enough to take a deep breath? To notice a rarely-seen bird singing a special song to us in a nearby tree? To notice a honey bee floating inside a colorful flower gathering sweet stuff? Or are we so wrapped up, that we're just anticipating the next emergency?

Think about it. I am.

I am not suggesting that we spend our whole lives sitting on our backs watching the clouds roll by. It can be a lot of fun to accomplish things, and that usually takes great effort. Are you enjoying Life, though? Are you able to sit back and relax, sometimes? The body and mind require rest to function well, you know. Or do you? I'm going to make more effort to heed Lucy's advice, and that might require making less effort. Sometimes less is more.

Gratefully,
Alan

January 13th 2010 - Haiti Earthquake Response

For those of you who haven't heard, a devastating earthquake hit Haiti near Port-Au-Prince, its heavily-populated capital. Haiti is the poorest nation in the western hemisphere. The destruction, which will probably not be fully-known for days, is supposedly massive. Loss of life is estimated to be in the thousands. Many are left homeless, and even government buildings have been wrecked.

My heart goes out to the people of Haiti. I have already responded by making donations and with prayer. Maybe you can do something that will touch the lives of those affected. Maybe some who have the freedom, will even feel a pull to go there and help. Haiti is less than 700 miles from Florida.

For those donating money, I just want to suggest that you carefully choose the organization(s) to which you give. I highly recommend that you check www.CharityNavigator.org to see the rating of the charity, and to see what portion of the money they collect goes to programs, versus to administration and fundraising. I highly recommend the following, as I have already vetted them out, and know they are involved in the Haiti response. I will list their web addresses, along with a link to their Charity Navigator rating:

www.AmeriCares.org
http://www.charitynavigator.org/index.cfm?bay=search.summary&orgid=3289
Almost 99% to programs

www.SaveTheChildren.org
http://www.charitynavigator.org/index.cfm?bay=search.summary&orgid=4438
Almost 92% to programs

www.unicefusa.org
http://www.charitynavigator.org/index.cfm?bay=search.summary&orgid=4617
Just over 90% to programs

If you would like to share any personal, favorite organization with my readers, please post a comment. I would appreciate if you would also post a link to the Charity Navigator rating for the organization.

If you are considering inaction, I suggest that you ask yourself how you would want the people of the world to react if you were in the same situation. If money is tight, maybe you can just send your Love.

Thanks for your compassion,
Alan

January 9th 2010 - The Teachers

A few weeks ago, I was doing inventory in our store, and one of the ladies that works with us was putting some merchandise away in a nearby drawer. I was looking around the store at all of the shelves and drawers and hooks full of merchandise and I said to her, "Do you ever wonder how we do all this?" She said to me something like, "Especially when you consider the difficult people." I thought to reply, "You mean the customers?" but what came out of my mouth was:

"You mean the Teachers?"

As I uttered those words, I was bewildered. I asked myself, "Teachers? Where did that come from?" Then I realized that there was something more to it. They ARE Teachers. The difficult people, I mean. They are here to teach us how to live.

Life is not made in the easy moments. Those aren't the ones you remember decades later. We remember the challenges we withstood. We remember the tough decisions we made that changed our lives (or sometimes the tough decisions we avoided, leaving our lives stagnant). We remember the moments when we realized we had grown, when we reacted differently, when we were strong and able to react with courage to what we previously feared.

Sometimes tough customers come into our lives to put the pressure on, carrying with them the recipe for creating those defining moments that we'll remember forever. They push our buttons, to show us that those buttons are still there. They make us angry, to give us the opportunity to resolve our anger. They take from us without giving back what we expect, to show us that we haven't learned the art of unconditional sharing. They irritate us by criticizing our actions or by pointing out our shortfalls. This can either be to help us rise above or to realize that we are the only true judges of ourselves, and we need not be swayed by others' opinions. They may treat us without dignity, just to give us the opportunity to walk away, or to be strong enough to tell them that they are out of line and not to accept their behavior.

Nobody is in this world just to be a jerk. Jerks are here to jerk you into your rightful place, to wake you from your sleep. Anyone can be nice to you, and tell you how great you are. That's easy. It's the jerks who are going to mold you into a stronger being. The jerks are the best teachers.

And they usually come at the perfect time. We only get handed as much as we can handle. Just when we think we are strongest, the biggest jerk we've ever met will come and tell us we are nobody. Then we'll see how strong we are.

The next time somebody treats you with disrespect, rubs you the wrong way or tests your patience, figure out what they've come to teach you. That person did not arrive just to spoil your day. That person came to teach you about life, and to show you where your strengths and weaknesses are. Knowing that, can you treat the situation differently? Can you learn the lesson, instead of reacting the same way you always have?

Anybody can get angry and tell somebody off. That's the easy route. Sometimes that may be the appropriate response. If you are one who usually lets people walk all over you, it may be time to stand up for yourself. If you're someone who easily gets pissed off and enjoys telling people where to stick it, that's probably not the lesson, though. Can you step into the offender's shoes for a moment and feel how they feel? Can you feel someone else's pain? Can you realize that it is your own pain that is causing your weakened response?

Forever Learning,
Alan