January 25th 2010 - Lucy

I have so many things I want to write about, but I've got to tell this story first. On Saturday, I noticed the name "Lucy" at least a couple of times. I know that when something out of the ordinary strikes me twice or more in the same day, there is probably something more to it. I was thinking to myself, "Lucy? Is this something about "I Love Lucy," the old show, or is this just another one of those coincidental "echoes" I've see so many times before?"

On Sunday, I was at the cash register in our store, ringing out a lady's purchases. As she was paying, I noticed a large picture of a pretty, young lady in her wallet. She saw me glance at the picture and she said, "That's my daughter. She died recently." I was taken aback and didn't know what to say. I just said that she was very pretty. The woman told me that the daughter had been a model. She was 33 when she died of breast cancer. The woman then proceeded to tell me that she now tells people not to rush through Life. She recommends that we take Life slowly and enjoy it. It'll be over before we know it.

Before the woman left, she told me that if she liked one of the products that she was buying to try out, she would be back for more. She asked my name, and I told her. After she had already started walking away, something prodded me to call after her for her name. "Excuse me. What's your name?" I asked. "Lucy," she called back loudly, as she was already some distance away. I can't even explain the feeling that coursed through me as she said it. I felt that she looked at me with a knowing glance. Could have been my imagination. My whole body was tingling, at any rate.

It has come more to my attention recently that one of my traits has always been to rush through Life. I have always been a very fast eater, for example. There is a favorite story in my family about the time we stopped at a highway rest stop to eat, in my childhood, and I completely devoured a gargantuan breakfast before the waitress came back to the table with everybody else's meals. My grandparents constantly reminded me that no one was going to steal my food. When I was around 30 years-old, one of my bosses noted that I was always scurrying everywhere. I never forgot that comment for some reason. I've also been known to often be running late to events, and therefore in a rush to make up for lost time. Always in a rush.

I've recently been intrigued with how little time we actually have. I calculated that someone who lives to the age of 75 lives only 3900 weeks. That's only 3900 weekends. How quickly do the weeks roll by? It's Saturday again. It's Saturday again. After only 3900 times, your 75 years old!!! Lucy was right. Time is fleeting.

Sometimes Life brings us emergencies, and we have no choice but to act quickly. I remember in the Haiti Telethon a story about a woman who dug for 50 hours straight to try and get her baby out from under some rubble, before a rescue team spotted her and pulled her baby out alive. If she had given up at any time and walked away, the rescue team may not have even noticed the baby.

But Life isn't always an emergency. Many of us live Life as if every day is an emergency. We find so many reasons to rush, because we are afraid that if we relax, maybe we will miss out, we will make less money, we will lose our position in the rat race or whatever. At what cost, though? How many of us live in almost a constant state of anxiety? Is there any amount of money that is worth living in a constant state of suffering? A lot of people sacrifice several years of their lives for some expected windfall in the 2nd or 3rd or 4th or .... year. Sometimes the payoff never comes. The best laid plans of mice and men...

It's very hard to enjoy Life if you can't relax. There are times when we are going to feel a need to get things done quickly, and some emergencies will come. When the emergencies pass, can we get out of our Fight or Flight Mode long enough to take a deep breath? To notice a rarely-seen bird singing a special song to us in a nearby tree? To notice a honey bee floating inside a colorful flower gathering sweet stuff? Or are we so wrapped up, that we're just anticipating the next emergency?

Think about it. I am.

I am not suggesting that we spend our whole lives sitting on our backs watching the clouds roll by. It can be a lot of fun to accomplish things, and that usually takes great effort. Are you enjoying Life, though? Are you able to sit back and relax, sometimes? The body and mind require rest to function well, you know. Or do you? I'm going to make more effort to heed Lucy's advice, and that might require making less effort. Sometimes less is more.

Gratefully,
Alan

January 13th 2010 - Haiti Earthquake Response

For those of you who haven't heard, a devastating earthquake hit Haiti near Port-Au-Prince, its heavily-populated capital. Haiti is the poorest nation in the western hemisphere. The destruction, which will probably not be fully-known for days, is supposedly massive. Loss of life is estimated to be in the thousands. Many are left homeless, and even government buildings have been wrecked.

My heart goes out to the people of Haiti. I have already responded by making donations and with prayer. Maybe you can do something that will touch the lives of those affected. Maybe some who have the freedom, will even feel a pull to go there and help. Haiti is less than 700 miles from Florida.

For those donating money, I just want to suggest that you carefully choose the organization(s) to which you give. I highly recommend that you check www.CharityNavigator.org to see the rating of the charity, and to see what portion of the money they collect goes to programs, versus to administration and fundraising. I highly recommend the following, as I have already vetted them out, and know they are involved in the Haiti response. I will list their web addresses, along with a link to their Charity Navigator rating:

www.AmeriCares.org
http://www.charitynavigator.org/index.cfm?bay=search.summary&orgid=3289
Almost 99% to programs

www.SaveTheChildren.org
http://www.charitynavigator.org/index.cfm?bay=search.summary&orgid=4438
Almost 92% to programs

www.unicefusa.org
http://www.charitynavigator.org/index.cfm?bay=search.summary&orgid=4617
Just over 90% to programs

If you would like to share any personal, favorite organization with my readers, please post a comment. I would appreciate if you would also post a link to the Charity Navigator rating for the organization.

If you are considering inaction, I suggest that you ask yourself how you would want the people of the world to react if you were in the same situation. If money is tight, maybe you can just send your Love.

Thanks for your compassion,
Alan

January 9th 2010 - The Teachers

A few weeks ago, I was doing inventory in our store, and one of the ladies that works with us was putting some merchandise away in a nearby drawer. I was looking around the store at all of the shelves and drawers and hooks full of merchandise and I said to her, "Do you ever wonder how we do all this?" She said to me something like, "Especially when you consider the difficult people." I thought to reply, "You mean the customers?" but what came out of my mouth was:

"You mean the Teachers?"

As I uttered those words, I was bewildered. I asked myself, "Teachers? Where did that come from?" Then I realized that there was something more to it. They ARE Teachers. The difficult people, I mean. They are here to teach us how to live.

Life is not made in the easy moments. Those aren't the ones you remember decades later. We remember the challenges we withstood. We remember the tough decisions we made that changed our lives (or sometimes the tough decisions we avoided, leaving our lives stagnant). We remember the moments when we realized we had grown, when we reacted differently, when we were strong and able to react with courage to what we previously feared.

Sometimes tough customers come into our lives to put the pressure on, carrying with them the recipe for creating those defining moments that we'll remember forever. They push our buttons, to show us that those buttons are still there. They make us angry, to give us the opportunity to resolve our anger. They take from us without giving back what we expect, to show us that we haven't learned the art of unconditional sharing. They irritate us by criticizing our actions or by pointing out our shortfalls. This can either be to help us rise above or to realize that we are the only true judges of ourselves, and we need not be swayed by others' opinions. They may treat us without dignity, just to give us the opportunity to walk away, or to be strong enough to tell them that they are out of line and not to accept their behavior.

Nobody is in this world just to be a jerk. Jerks are here to jerk you into your rightful place, to wake you from your sleep. Anyone can be nice to you, and tell you how great you are. That's easy. It's the jerks who are going to mold you into a stronger being. The jerks are the best teachers.

And they usually come at the perfect time. We only get handed as much as we can handle. Just when we think we are strongest, the biggest jerk we've ever met will come and tell us we are nobody. Then we'll see how strong we are.

The next time somebody treats you with disrespect, rubs you the wrong way or tests your patience, figure out what they've come to teach you. That person did not arrive just to spoil your day. That person came to teach you about life, and to show you where your strengths and weaknesses are. Knowing that, can you treat the situation differently? Can you learn the lesson, instead of reacting the same way you always have?

Anybody can get angry and tell somebody off. That's the easy route. Sometimes that may be the appropriate response. If you are one who usually lets people walk all over you, it may be time to stand up for yourself. If you're someone who easily gets pissed off and enjoys telling people where to stick it, that's probably not the lesson, though. Can you step into the offender's shoes for a moment and feel how they feel? Can you feel someone else's pain? Can you realize that it is your own pain that is causing your weakened response?

Forever Learning,
Alan