April 15th 2010 - Releasing Blame - Part 3

When we begin to take responsibility for our vulnerabilities and weaknesses, we can begin the lifetime job of rooting them out of our operating systems. Just like the anti-virus software maker, we need to constantly observe the weaknesses in our operating software, and fine-tune our software to deal with them. One of the most important steps to take, in my humble opinion, is to stop feeding our negative emotions.

We feed our negative emotions by constantly reacting the same way. We feed anger every time we get angry. We feed frustration every time we get frustrated. We feed sadness every time we get sad. These emotions are like individuals. It's like they have a life of their own. They feed on their own specialized meals of our habitual reactions.

We can gain control of our emotions by becoming an observer. Instead of reacting the way we always react, when an emotion comes along, we can look at it from the standpoint of an observer. "Here comes Person X again. He always makes me angry. There he goes acting that way again." When this happens, we can observe what is happening inside of us, and we can see our emotion start welling up inside of us in a detached manner. We don't have to act out that emotion, as we realize that that emotion is not who we are. We have the power to release any emotion that we do not want. We just observe it, and let it go.

This is not easy stuff. I have not yet mastered releasing all my negative emotions. Some issues are harder than others. When someone victimizes you, it is very difficult to accept that you are the cause of the victimization, or at least a co-conspirator. If you can observe the victimization without getting emotional about it - without getting angry, frustrated and blaming - are you really a victim, though?

Taking Responsibility,
Alan