November 21st 2009 - Forgiving Ourselves

Dropping our personal histories and reinventing ourselves is much easier when we learn to apply self-forgiveness. As we are reinventing ourselves and shifting perspective, we tend to get HARDER on ourselves. We tend to get MORE judgmental of our past acts and omissions when we start to see them from a more evolved state of consciousness. I think that is helpful to recognize that it is only because we have grown so much, that we are able to see our past actions in such a harsh light. We should be patting ourselves on our own backs, just as we are beating ourselves up. We have grown SO far from the perspective from which we acted, that we now can't imagine how we possibly did such things.

It is best to seek forgiveness from those that we hurt in the past. By doing so, both parties are able to heal the scars caused by those interactions. The extent of the healing is conditioned upon the willingness of the forgiver to genuinely forgive, as well as the willingness of the forgiven to fully accept forgiveness. Even when the offended party refuses to forgive, I believe that self-forgiveness should be applied. We all make mistakes. We are all blinded at times by our TEMPORARY, mistaken perspectives. We should not beat ourselves up eternally for TEMPORARY states of mind. We should allow ourselves to be reinvented, even when the offended party refuses to let go. And, of course, whether or not the offended party forgives, if we can't forgive ourselves, the healing cannot be complete. For some, including myself, it is easier to forgive others than it is to forgive ourselves. This is, in my opinion, a key factor in self-evolution.

Moving On,
Alan